Dealing with Cheating in Polyamorous and Polygamous Relationships

Do people in polyamorous relationships or in polygamous marriages have to deal with cheating issues, or does it never happen in such a relationship? The answer is clear: cheating can and does occur in both forms of relationships. Despite the permissions and rules that govern these relationships, personal fallibility and the potential for misunderstandings can still lead to broken agreements and trust issues.

Permissions and Rules in Polyamorous Relationships

Polyamorous relationships often come with explicit permissions and rules, which are established and agreed upon by all parties involved. However, these permissions and rules cannot guarantee that cheating won't occur. They are merely guidelines that everyone commits to following, and even the most well-defined agreements can be broken by human nature.

The saying "put me in coach, I am ready to play" reflects the mindset of some participants in polyamorous relationships, where the primary focus is on the enjoyment of the relationship rather than on potential consequences. The term "no kissing, no love, but plenty of sex" emphasizes the physical aspects of the relationship without the emotional attachment, which can often lead to a lack of accountability and responsibility.

In polyamorous relationships, it is important to have clear communication and understanding about what is allowed and what is not. However, as someone mentioned, there are many ways to trigger jealousy, especially with extra encounters beyond what was authorized. For instance, if a spouse visits someone without the other spouse's knowledge or if someone goes on a visit that was not disclosed, such actions can easily breed mistrust and suspicion.

Struggles in Polygamous Marriages

Polygamous marriages, often characterized by multiple spouses living in different households or visiting each other, can be just as challenging as monogamous marriages. Such marriages may involve complex dynamics that can lead to jealousy, misunderstandings, and the potential for cheating.

Consider the scenario where the wife may live with only one of her husbands and visit the others, or vice versa for the husbands. These arrangements can lead to feelings of exclusivity and the potential for emotional or physical infidelity. Additionally, financial considerations, such as who owns which house, can also become contentious issues if there is a perceived inequality in the distribution of assets.

Understanding Cheating and Its Impact

Cheating in relationships, whether monogamous or polyamorous, and whether in polygamous marriages or not, involves a breach of trust, broken agreements, and lies. Cheating can happen when someone chooses to get greedy, lie, and break the explicit or implicit rules of their relationship, and disrespect their partners.

For instance, in the case of a polyamorous couple, the guy who was attracted to another woman was not open and honest with his partner, leading to his cheating. This cheating was rooted in the lies and the breaking of trust. Similarly, in a polygamous marriage, having multiple wives does not prevent someone from having extramarital sexual encounters and lying about it. Cheating is the destruction of trust in a relationship and involves lies and evasions designed to obscure the truth.

Breaking the contract and deceiving the partner about it is what constitutes cheating, not specific sexual or social behaviors. Therefore, people in polyamorous and polygamous relationships, just like anyone else, have to deal with such issues.