Understanding Grief in Western Culture: A Necessary Process, Not a Brief Stage

Many argue that in Western society, there is an expectation that grief should be a brief process, enabling individuals to quickly move on with their lives. However, this view is often at odds with the reality that grief, much like love, is a deep and enduring emotion. This article explores the nuances of grief, its natural process, and how it's often perceived differently in various cultures, with a profound examination of how societal expectations can either support or hinder an individual's ability to cope with loss.

The Persistence of Grief in Western Culture

Lamenting the societal pressure to quickly move past grief, one individual writes, 'I feel that in Western society, people are not allowed the time they need to grieve. You are often expected to get on with it, when in reality, grief has no set life span. How do you feel about this?' The sentiment resonates with many, who feel that society imposes unrealistic expectations on those who are bereaved. In many respects, the myth of 'closure' is broken when we reflect on the ongoing nature of grief and the reality that we do not, and cannot, 'get over' a loved one.

Recognizing and Coping with Grief

Admitting Faults and Appreciating Virtues: It is critical to recognize that the person who has passed away may have had faults and weaknesses, as well as strengths and virtues. Holding these aspects of the person in our hearts can aid in the acceptance and grieving process. Using Mementos Wisely: Keeping mementos and cherished items can be a source of comfort, but it’s important to store them in a way that requires a conscious effort to access them. Understanding the 40 Days of Grief: It’s normal to experience sudden surges of emotion during the early weeks of a bereavement. Most individuals typically ease into a more manageable state by around 6 weeks or 40 days. However, if the grief persists and intensifies, seeking professional counseling can be beneficial.

Social and Cultural Practices in Grieving

The author recounts a vivid experience from 20 years ago, witnessing a drive-in funeral home in the United States for the first time. This custom, though rare elsewhere, highlights how different cultures approach the act of mourning. In the US, such practices have shown resilience over two decades. In contrast, the author describes the Western custom of family members staying with the deceased at home until the body is taken away, a practice that gradually faded in Europe by the 1960s. Today, it's common to see a stream of cars leaving the hospital swiftly, rather than staying to pay their respects.

Implications for Mental Health

Considering the societal pressure to move on quickly after a loss, it’s crucial to recognize the potential mental health implications. Many veterans, struggling with the burdens of unresolved grief, can end up on the streets. Society’s tendency to avoid or overlook discussions about grief can exacerbate negative emotions, potentially leading to conditions like PTSD or depression. Encouraging open dialogue, support, and understanding can help individuals not only process their grief but also mitigate the risk of developing severe mental health issues.

Conclusion

The journey through grief is personal, prolonged, and profoundly human. While societal practices can offer a structured framework, it's essential to acknowledge that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. By embracing the complexities of grief and fostering a supportive environment, we can help individuals heal and move forward, honored in their sorrow and strengthened in their resilience.