How Adopted and Foster Children Address Their Parents: A Comprehensive Guide

The way adopted and foster children address their parents can reflect the unique dynamics and cultural backgrounds of each family. Whether they call them Mom and Dad, use first names, or opt for other unique terms, the choice often stems from the child's comfort level, the relationship dynamics, and the family's values.

Common Terms for Adoptive and Foster Parents

Adopted or foster children may call their parents a variety of names. Some common terms include:

Mom and Dad - Many children opt for these traditional titles, especially if they feel a strong bond with their adoptive or foster parents. First Names - Some children prefer to call their parents by their first names, particularly in more informal or temporary settings. Other Titles - Children might use unique terms like Unique Family Names - Some families create their own family-specific terms that reflect their relationship dynamics. For example, Auntie, Uncle, or Daddy.

Thoughts on Foster vs. Adopted Children

It's important to note the distinction between foster and adopted children. A foster child may only stay with a family for a brief period, whereas an adopted child becomes a permanent part of the family. Once the adoption process is complete, an adopted child is just like a biological child and would likely call their adopted parents 'Mum' or 'Dad,' similar to how their biological siblings would address their parents.

For instance, in my own experience, foster children would not appreciate being called 'Mum' or 'Dad' in the presence of their own parents. It's a matter of respect and cultural sensitivity.

Personal Experiences and Adoptions

My eldest son, who is a posthumous child from my wife's previous marriage, has always called me 'Dad' since birth. We completed a Second-Party Spousal Adoption the day after my wife and I got married. This adoption was finalized a year later, and my wife and I are also of mixed Aboriginal and White descent, which influenced our decision to have a Tribal Marriage Ceremony and Tribal Adoption Ceremony.

My oldest daughter, who is the child of my wife's youngest sister, was also placed with us when she was 6 months old. Her birthfather's parental rights were terminated due to incarceration and a divorce. We assumed a guardian role and were known as 'Auntie' and 'Uncle.' When she turned 7, her mother approached me to ask if I would be willing to do a Second Party Familial Adoption. We agreed, and this adoption was finalized the following year, making me 'Daddy' to my oldest daughter.

Conclusion

The choice of how adopted and foster children address their parents is deeply personal and should be guided by open communication and mutual respect. Whether children call their parents 'Mum and Dad,' use first names, or opt for unique family names, the key is ensuring they feel loved, valued, and part of the family.