How Knowing I Was an INFJ Shaped My Life and Thinking

Understanding my personality type, specifically as an INFJ, has been a transformative journey for me. It has not only helped me comprehend why I act the way I do, especially my preference for solitude, but has brought about significant changes in my personal growth and self-awareness.

Understanding My Personality

When I first found out about the INFJ personality type and how it aligned with my trait, I felt a mix of relief and acceptance. It was like the weight of confusion and self-doubt I had been carrying for years was lifted, and I no longer felt like an enigma to myself. The realization that being deeply introspective and prioritizing others were hallmarks of my personality helped me understand why I sometimes felt misunderstood or alone.

A Deeper Grasp of 'Who I Am'

I did not go crazy or seek to flex what it meant to be an INFJ. Instead, I delved deeper into the knowledge, both to understand my own personality and to find ways to improve. This process gave me a newfound tolerance for both others and myself, helping me to not be my own harshest critic. Knowing that deep thoughts and solitude were natural parts of being an INFJ, I stopped holding myself to impossible standards based on external expectations.

Self-Acceptance and Communication

My journey towards self-acceptance was not easy. I had always been a people pleaser and prioritized others, often at my own expense. This led to a deep sense of inadequacy and a belief that I was mentally ill due to the unreciprocated compassion and understanding from others. I began to think I could not find true friends who understood my way of thinking. However, as I learned more about the INFJ personality type, I realized that my introspection and sensitivity were not shortcomings but inherent parts of my identity.

The recognition of my INFJ traits was a turning point. I started to accept myself and my natural way of thinking, understanding that it’s a part of who I am and cannot be changed. This acceptance allowed me to communicate my feelings more openly with my closest friends, enabling me to rely on their understanding and support. While communicating my feelings was initially challenging, it became easier with time, and I found that sharing my thoughts and struggles made me feel less alone and more resilient.

Lessening Fusion with Others' Expectations

The realization that achieving what I'm supposed to first in my life is more important than meeting other's expectations brought a new perspective on my life goals. I strive to meet my own personal goals and responsibilities, and if I have the energy and resources to do more, I will. This shift in mindset has helped me to focus on what my heart truly desires, rather than external validation or pressure.

Knowing that thinking deeply and valuing solitude are natural for INFJs has encouraged me to embrace these aspects without fear of judgment. It has also taught me to avoid self-destruction out of the pressure to conform to societal norms. While others may expect more from me, I am more concerned with living up to the standards I set for myself, ensuring that my actions align with my true self.

My tips for fellow INFJs or those who might feel similar to the way I did, are to accept your personality, prioritize self-care, and seek the support of like-minded individuals. By acknowledging and understanding our traits, we can build a more fulfilling and authentic life, free from unnecessary self-criticism and external pressures.