Maintaining Your Maiden Name After Marriage in the United States

Many individuals, particularly women, are now choosing to retain their maiden names after marriage, a trend that continues to grow. In the United States, the concept of name retention after marriage is more than merely a tradition; it's a legal possibility and a personal choice.

Options for Name Retention

There are several options available to those who wish to maintain their maiden names after getting married. These options include:

Combining Names: Hyphenation

One popular option is to adopt a hyphenated name. This allows both partners to maintain a connection to their family names while creating a unique combined identity. For instance, a woman can keep her maiden name while adopting her husband's last name as a hyphenated name, or vice versa. Hyphenation is a balanced approach that acknowledges both family histories.

Retaining Your Maiden Name

Another common choice is to simply retain your maiden name. Celebrities such as Cher, Madonna, Oprah Winfrey, Drew Barrymore, Rosario Dawson, Zooey Deschanel, Salma Hayek, Penélope Cruz, and many others have chosen this path. Retaining your maiden name after marriage is a declaration of personal identity and can even enhance your professional image, especially in a career-focused environment.

Spouse Taking Your Last Name

There's also the option for the spouse to take your last name. This is often seen in same-sex marriages and demonstrates a commitment to equality and joint identity. While this option is less common, it underscores the evolving nature of marriage and societal norms.

Legal and Social Implications

The United States has no legal requirement for a woman to change her name when she marries. Traditionally, many have chosen to change their names, but this is not a mandatory practice. In fact, more women (and men) are now opting to keep their maiden names for various reasons, including:

Practical Reasons

Maintaining a single, consistent name can be more practical. For example, my daughter chose to keep her maiden name when she married. This decision was largely driven by the time-consuming process of notifying numerous organizations and institutions about the change in her name. For many, performing all the necessary administrative tasks (updating IDs, changing credit card information, etc.) is a substantial drawback.

Professional and Personal Identity

Younger generations and those established in their careers may prefer to keep their maiden names to maintain a strong sense of personal and professional identity. This decision can be particularly significant for women who have already achieved recognition in their fields and see their maiden names as a part of their professional branding.

Historical Context and Modern Standards

My experiences with marriage span over six decades, reflecting a significant shift in societal norms. I have been married twice without changing my name, reflecting the changing times. Today, my daughter chose to keep her maiden name when she got married, a decision largely influenced by her preferences and the practicalities involved.

The Future of Marriage and Names

As societal norms continue to evolve, the way we approach marriage and names will likely continue to change. In today's modern society, it's more important for partners to feel a sense of unity in other aspects of their relationship, such as shared activities and support, rather than sharing a single last name.