Naming Children After Themselves: The Debate

Is naming our children, or their grandchildren, after ourselves a practice that enhances family bonds, or a tradition that can hinder a child's sense of individuality? In this article, we explore the cultural and personal reasons behind naming practices, sharing insights from one family's unique experiences.

The Personal Touch

Many families embrace the tradition of naming children after beloved ancestors, living or deceased. This practice can be a beautiful way to honor family history and maintain a connection to past generations. For John Doe, a parent who shares a family anecdote, Barbara and Bob, naming their children after relatives is not about preserving a legacy, but about creating a family name with modern relevance.

Family Dynamics and Convenience

When Barbara and Bob named their children, they considered factors beyond the obvious benefits of a meaningful name. They aimed for a balance between tradition and practicality. The couple noted, 'Our kids were definitely named more for bully-proof initials and ease of use.'

In the Doe family, they had a unique advantage: being geographically distant from extended family, which provided flexibility in naming conventions. However, the naming choices often mirrored the family's traditional tendency towards short, straightforward names. Despite this, the children ended up named after people within the family. For instance, their eldest son, Joseph Doe, is named in honor of a great-grandfather who tragically passed away shortly after Joseph’s birth. Similarly, Marguerite Doe, the daughter, was named after an older aunt, living far away, with whom she shares pride in the name. Additionally, their youngest son, Richard Doe, carries the names of two deceased grandfathers, creating a sense of familial continuity.

Balancing Tradition and Individuality

While some families might prefer to name children after living relatives for continuity, Barbara and Bob chose to err on the side of individuality. Their son-in-law, Richard Jr., proposed naming his first child after Barbara or Marguerite, but this suggestion was met with firm resistance. Barbara explains, 'We didn't want our grandchildren to be Jrs.">

The primary reasons for not following this trend were: To foster individuality: My son-in-law’s mother believed in raising strong, separate individuals. To avoid favoritism: None of us wanted any cloud of favoritism.

Another example of this decision can be seen in John Doe's daughter-in-law who insisted on naming their child after her grandmother. However, due to concerns about individuality and favoritism, John Doe negotiated to use the family name in the middle name, while ensuring the child remained an independent entity.

The Importance of Consent

Regardless of the naming tradition a family chooses to follow, it is crucial to seek the consent of the person being named after. As John Doe advises, 'I suggest that you ask before naming the child after anyone. My grandmother hated her first name but it is popular now.">

This advice highlights the importance of respecting a person's feelings and personal history. Naming can have lasting impacts, both positive and negative, and it is vital to consider these factors when making such decisions.

Conclusion

The choice to name a child after a family member is a deeply personal one, involving considerations of tradition, individuality, and respect. While some families may choose to honor the past, others opt for more contemporary and independent naming practices. Ultimately, the decision should be made with thoughtfulness and respect for both family and personal feelings.