Why Do People Change When a Parent Dies?

Every individual responds differently to significant life changes, particularly the loss of a loved one. While some may experience noticeable changes in behavior or personality, others might remain largely unchanged, as was the case for me. Losing a parent is a profound and traumatic event that can lead to intense grief and profound shifts in how a person perceives themselves and their world. If your friend is starting to exhibit behaviors that are concerning, it is crucial to gently bring this to her attention and offer support. Discussing her feelings and suggesting she seek professional help can be beneficial.

The Impact of Parental Loss on Grief and Behavior

When a parent dies, it not only marks the end of a relationship but also a profound loss that often triggers a period of intense grief. According to grief experts, the first two years can be particularly challenging, as individuals grapple with the reality of the loss and the emotional turbulence that follows. For me, it took about seven years to fully process the loss and find peace with it. It is quite common for people to experience dramatic changes in behavior during this time, as they navigate through their grief.

Identifying and Addressing Concerns

Concerned about your friend's behavior? Here are some steps you can take to support her:

Communicate openly: Talk to her about your observations and express your concern. Make sure the conversation is non-confrontational and focused on providing support. Encourage seeking professional help: Suggest that she speak to a grief counselor, therapist, or even a pastor. Professional assistance can be invaluable during this difficult time. Consider her medical and emotional state: Determine if there are underlying issues such as emotional or physical problems, or if she might be using coping mechanisms like alcohol or drugs. Check for traumatic factors: Consider if the loss was traumatic or if she had pre-existing issues that are now entangled with her grief. Point her towards resources: Recommend websites and books specifically designed to help with grief. Understanding is key, and self-help resources can be a invaluable. Seek guidance from a mature and wise friend: If possible, find someone who has experienced a similar loss and can offer advice and perspective.

When to Take Additional Action

While your support and patience are crucial, if there are warning signs such as expressions of suicidal thoughts, it is imperative to take immediate action. In such cases, contacting the suicide hotline (988 in the U.S.) is a priority. Remember that empathy, compassion, and understanding can go a long way in helping your friend process her grief. Although your friend might seem needy and unable to give or receive, you can still provide comfort and support by being present and offering a listening ear.

Conclusion

Supporting a friend who is grieving the loss of a parent can be challenging. Be patient, offer your presence, and gently prompt your friend to seek help. Every individual's journey through grief is unique, and your support can make a significant difference. If you're struggling to know how to help, reach out to someone experienced or seek resources online for guidance. Your care and empathy are invaluable during this difficult time.