Unveiling Finnish Friendships: Myths and Reality

Conventional wisdom often paints Finns as aloof and emotionally distant, making the prospect of befriending them daunting. However, truth is a far cry from stereotype. In this article, I share personal insights on forming meaningful relationships in Finland, debunking common misconceptions about our 'romantic' character.

Myth #1: Making Friends in Finland Is Impossible

Contrary to popular belief, making friends in Finland is not an impossible feat. Over the course of years spent in Sweden and a year in Finland, I’ve witnessed countless instances where foreigners have managed to form both short-term and long-term friendships with Finns. Friends who were made in my residency in Sweden remained close friends even years later, showcasing the enduring nature of these connections.

Myth #2: Finns Are Unemotional and Isolated

Finnish introversion is a common theme, but it’s a misconception to label Finns as entirely unemotional or isolated. Rather, we tend to be more reticent—i.e., less inclined to express emotions publicly. It’s important to approach Finns with understanding and acceptance, recognizing that everyone, including Finns, has their own unique way of expressing emotions.

Myth #3: Extroversion Makes It Easier to Make Friends with Finns

Although Americans are generally regarded as more extroverted, it’s not a one-size-fits-all scenario. Extroversion doesn't guarantee success in building friendships with Finns. Instead, it’s about finding common ground. For example, Americans with extroverted personalities might find it easier to integrate into Finnish social circles, but an American introvert who connects over shared hobbies can also forge lasting friendships.

Personal Insights: My Sons’ Social Lives

To better illustrate this point, let me share a personal anecdote. I have two adult sons who represent contrasting sides of the introvert-extrovert spectrum.

My younger son is exceptionally outgoing. He frequents the commuter train to downtown and effortlessly picks up new friends on his daily journey home. He engages in conversations with strangers, inviting them to join him at home. On the flip side, my older son, while introverted, maintains a smaller circle of close friends and doesn’t venture into crowded social settings like clubs and bars. Despite these differences, both boys are content with their social lives, highlighting the diversity within Finnish social dynamics.

The Key to Making Friends: Shared Hobbies

For foreigners seeking to forge relationships in Finland, focusing on shared hobbies is a winning strategy. Hobbies where people interact on a regular basis, such as team sports, civic activities, and college classes, provide natural opportunities for forming connections. These environments encourage interaction and build trust over time. Finnish introverts may prefer quieter, more intimate settings, but the key is to find activities that resonate with you and others.

Conclusion

Friendship in Finland is a valuable and fulfilling endeavor, despite the common misconceptions. By embracing each other’s differences, we can overcome barriers and form meaningful connections. Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert, the Finnish spirit of camaraderie is accessible. So, step into the local skate park, join a community theatre group, or participate in a cycling club—these are arenas where genuine friendships are made.